Not the sort of thing we are used to ... But I tend to think that real redemption is only possible when we dare to journey THROUGH our pain, rather than around it
(This certainly is part of the meaning of the cross)
Thoughts?
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
The Lost Art of Lament
Last night we engaged in an ancient form of prayer and worship called lament. It was an incredible night of exposing our souls to God, and I got the impression that for many, new horizons of possibility for bringing the pain and anguish of their hearts to brutally honest expression were opened up ... We noted especially that lament is a daring theological maneuver, in that it presupposes there actually IS someone who is listening, that that person is not offended by our honest, even abrasive speech towards him, that in fact he invites it, and that our rage does not need to take us outside of him, but can and should actually take place within him.
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This is a great quote by Thomas Merton from his autobiography (see below). I think it really addresses the fact that redemption is only possible when we journey through the pain...not when we stuff it down inside and try to avoid it or ignore it. There is so much pain in this world, it's unavoidable. So we can't pretend it doesn't exist in our hearts because it will end up devouring us whole...rendering us isolated from our God and ineffective in our compassion. How can we "weep with those who weep" if we have never wept ourselves?
"What could I make of so much suffering? There was no way for me, or for anyone else in the family, to get anything out of it. It was a raw wound for which there was no adequate relief. You had to take it, like an animal. We were in the condition of most of the world, the condition of men without faith in the presence of war, disease, pain, starvation, suffering, plague, bombardment, death. You just had to take it, like a dumb animal. Try to avoid it, if you could. But you must eventually reach the point where you can't avoid it any more. Take it. Try to stupefy yourself, if you like, so that it won't hurt so much. But you will always have to take some of it. And it will all devour you in the end. Indeed, the truth that many people never understand, until it is too late, is that the more you try to avoid suffering, the more you suffer, because smaller and more insignificant things begin to torture you, in proportion to your fear of being hurt. The one who does most to avoid suffering is, in the end, the one who suffers most: and his suffering comes to him from things so little and so trivial that one can say that it is no longer objective at all. It is his own existence, his own being, that is at once the subject and the source of his pain, and his very existence and consciousness is his greatest torture. This is another of the great perversions by which the devil uses our philosophies to turn our whole nature inside out, and eviscerate all our capacities for good, turning them against ourselves."
This is an quote from Thomas Merton's autobiography...
"What could I make of so much suffering? There was no way for me, or for anyone else in the family, to get anything out of it. It was a raw wound for which there was no adequate relief. You had to take it, like an animal. We were in the condition of most of the world, the condition of men without faith in the presence of war, disease, pain, starvation, suffering, plague, bombardment, death. You just had to take it, like a dumb animal. Try to avoid it, if you could. But you must eventually reach the point where you can't avoid it any more. Take it. Try to stupefy yourself, if you like, so that it won't hurt so much. But you will always have to take some of it. And it will all devour you in the end. Indeed, the truth that many people never understand, until it is too late, is that the more you try to avoid suffering, the more you suffer, because smaller and more insignificant things begin to torture you, in proportion to your fear of being hurt. The one who does most to avoid suffering is, in the end, the one who suffers most: and his suffering comes to him from things so little and so trivial that one can say that it is no longer objective at all. It is his own existence, his own being, that is at once the subject and the source of his pain, and his very existence and consciousness is his greatest torture. This is another of the great perversions by which the devil uses our philosophies to turn our whole nature inside out, and eviscerate all our capacities for good, turning them against ourselves."
I think it addresses the fact that we have to journey through our pain, we can't hide from it or ignore it or even decide just to become numb to it. The world is full of so much pain. Keeping pain, suffering, injustice, etc. inside only ends up corroding our souls from the inside out and in the end we become isolated from God and rendered ineffective in our compassion. We cannot weep with those who weep if we never let ourselves feel pain, if we have never wept. Refusing to feel or go through suffering completely incapacitates our efforts to reach out to a hurting and dying world. The world is very aware of suffering, pain, and injustice and if we as Christians refuse to face those things why would the world want to come to the Lord? Those are the things they are looking for answers to, or at the very least, they are looking for compassion, they want to find someone who IS there and who WILL listen. When we act face our pain and lament we not only receive release and comfort for ourselves but, by example, we end up boldly declaring to the world that God IS there and He IS listening...
Last night was a great night. I really do feel that I was able to connect with G-d in a way that is more intimate than ever before. Also, I don't think I've been through that much pain before... The beautiful thing was, even though things were being brought out that really hurt, there was hope in anguish. Hope that G-d really does care, and that I wasn't suffering alone, and that He would deliver me. I was able to yell at Him till I was fully spent, and then He gently spoke peace to my soul in the quiet moments that followed...
Some of the faculty members at Princeton Seminary wrote a fantastic book on lament that you should buy or take a look at:
Lament : reclaiming practices in pulpit, pew, and public square / edited by Sally A. Brown and Patrick D. Miller.
-dan
I am sorry to have missed such a meeting. From the looks of it, you all dared to be real, honest, and open with God last night... and I am sorry to have not been a part of that.
As far as a response... For me, this aspect of communication with God, the moment when you begin to share openly your heart and minds, not only with God, but with yourself as well, marks the beginning of a beautiful adventure. Once more, it is something we get to begin and embark on every day, as such honesty is required of us not just once, but every time we seek God, in sorrow and in joy.
While this principle is true for lament and suffering, I find it true for desire as well. If such openness, and vulnerability works so well between us and God, as well as ourself and others, imagine what it can do with our dreams...
I believe this principle hits on the great tragedy of the fall. There was once man and woman, who walked openly with God, in the beauty of his creation, sharing everything with Him (including Adam's loneliness). Upon deception, that was taken away from them (and from God), and they found there selves hiding from God behind His creation and later behind the skins He made for them.
We are such silly humans, that with the possession of knowledge and a history of disobeying God, we find the only possible thing to do is to hide. Ironically, sometimes we can even hide behind seemingly Godly things. I would even venture to say that we can hide behind reading scripture, saying prayers (without engaging our full hearts, but instead just saying words) or doing "good things", when at that moment, all God wants from us is what He had with Adam and Eve in the garden.
Think about it, even David, in the psalms, expressed that the "sacrificial system" did not bring God joy. What God wants is our hearts, and our minds, and us, with no obstructions.
I think the whole point of Jesus coming was not to just fill the grand-stands of heaven, because He could have done that with a wave of His hand, but rather, I believe the purpose of the great sacrifice, was to afford us the opportunity to walk naked with God.
The old covenant offered the means for covering our sins. If even for a moment, it allowed an individual to stand blameless before God. However, for good reasons, God wanted more. To me, it seems, that God was not okay with just talking with us during that moment after the sacrifice, but before our next sin. Through the sacrifice of His son, he seems to have been chasing for more... for that gray area between times of sacrifice, when we found ourselves hiding alone, behind our skins and among the trees.
God wants to be with us always, in full communication, and I am thankful that through the sacrifice of His son, our messed up selves can now be there with Him.
It is both pleasant and terrifying that as a new creation, we can not hide our lives from God. And now, it seems as though we better start living in such a way that reflects that truth.
I am excited to be part of a group that grants such significance to their relationship with God. I believe that we are finally hitting on some really "good news" worth sharing.... That God cares. About everything.
I was unfortunately not at the meeting last night because I was slogging through the side-effects of lament. Namely: exhaustion and sleep.
For those of you who didn't know (which is probably most of you) I journeyed back up to MI this past weekend for the first time since I moved to Tulsa. Shortly put, it was one of the most wonderful/heartbreaking weekends of my life. Ironically the whole weekend I was gone I had been going though my own personal lamenting/grieving process and trying once again to reconcile my life to the vision of the life God wills for me. Joyously painful.
Though I am sorry to have missed the Tuesday night experience and feel the presence of those going through similar reactions as I was, it does my heart good to know that I'm truly a part of this community--that God continues to whisper the same over-arching themes to us whether we are together or apart.
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